MrAndo

Getting Smarter

2010-06-15T10:23:00.004+08:00

My head is becoming bigger.
The brain is growing.
The head needs to accommodate it.
I am becoming smarter.
Oh yesss....I can feel it.
I can solve 1+1 in less than 1second.
I can differentiate yellow from black with one look.
I can form two words using the letters "A" and "H"
I know that Asia is a extremely large piece of land.
I know there are less than 10 world wars in the history of humans.
Maybe I will become the smartest person in the world.

Soup or Dry

2010-06-12T10:14:00.000+08:00

In front of a Fishball Noodle Stall,

Mika: Uncle, 1 fishball noodle, dry, with chili, take away.
FIshball Uncle: Ok.
Ando: You should not order dry. Very lugi.
Mika: Why?
Ando: Because if you order soup, you get the soup as well. It is more worth it for the money.
Mika: Oh...that is true. But I prefer to eat it dry.
Ando: That is no problem. When you get back, you just need to pour out the soup.
Mika: Cool...you are so smart. But what do I do with that soup?
Ando: You can give it to anyone and said it is fish soup. They will think of you as soooo sweet.
Mika: That is a great suggestion. Omg. I need to change my order.

Murmurs behind us," pssppsspps.....ya he is so right....pssppss......he is so smart.....psspssppss....we should do that too...pssppss....."

Fishball Uncle: Here you are. Your dry fishball noodle with chili.
Mika: Uncle, can I change to soup?
Fishball Uncle: How can? It is already packed.
Mika: It is ok. Just open it and pour soup into it. :D

A discovery

2010-06-10T10:12:00.000+08:00

I discovered the "Eh and the Oh." It was there for soooo long and I discovered it only now. How silly...

Snail Order

2010-06-07T20:38:00.001+08:00

For those who ordered snails, be patient. They are on the way now. Good things must wait. One day, they will crawl into your house to be loved by you.

A question on swimming

2010-06-07T20:26:00.005+08:00

In the Sea, YL swam towards me

YL: Are we swimming later?
Ando: Didnt you just swim?
YL: O.O

Mission in Malacca

2010-06-01T01:06:00.002+08:00

A mission will be undertaken today to meet malacca snails. The mission is named "Meet the malacca snails mission" for obvious reasons.

Anyone who wish to keep a malacca snail as pet, please call Mr Ando and make your order now. Yes. Right now.

Terms and conditions apply. While snails last.

Sighting of super snail

2010-05-31T00:54:00.000+08:00

Weng got a sighting of super snail

But I guess it is too fast for anyone to catch it.

The search goes on.

Who is Super Guppy?

2010-05-30T00:39:00.000+08:00

A Super Guppy is a guppy which can do/has things that an ordinary guppy cannot do/does not have.

So what are the things which Super Guppy can do that an ordinary guppy cannot?

1. Super Guppy can go on land.

2. Super Guppy has protruding eyes that provides ultra foresight and allows it to see into the future.

3. Super Guppy has a super hard back.

4. Super Guppy is able to leave a trail of slime as it moves past thus causing any evil stalkers to trip and fall.

5. Super Guppy can move very slow and make its enemies explode with impatience.

6. Super Guppy does not require fins to move.

7. Super Guppy has a longer life span. So far, it is still alive.

8. Super Guppy strikes fear to people. Well, some people.

9. Super Guppy is Super cute.

10. Super Guppy has the word "super" in front of its name.

Awesome.

Super guppy

2010-03-28T20:55:00.000+08:00

I found a super guppy.

twilight

2010-03-02T19:29:00.003+08:00

vanilla twilight.
chocolate twilight.
strawberry twilight.
cookies and cream twilight.
durian twilight.
mango twilight.
coffee twilight.
neapolitan twilight.
chocolate mint twilight
caramel nut twilight.
chocolate chip twilight.
green tea twilight.

The story of yellow rocks

2010-03-01T19:41:00.001+08:00

Ando大侠 met a crazy plant today.

The plant was spraying its crazy grains all around crazily.

Despite the great speed and dexterity of Ando大侠,

the crazy plant was too unpredictable.

Some crazy grains got onto the shirt of Ando大侠.

Ando大侠 responded quickly and brushed the grains away.

But the crazy grains stained the shirt crazily.

Being resourceful, Ando大侠 found a tap and tried to wash the craziness away.

The crazy stains from the crazy grains spread themselves more.

Well it is ok.

The stains are yellow anyway.

And YELLOW ROCKS!!

Ando大侠 and friends saved the day

2010-02-28T19:51:00.001+08:00

Ando大侠 and friends were talking on an interesting intellectually engaging topic.

Suddenly there was a screech.

The witch had arrived.

"Are you ogling at me and fantasizing?" The witch asked.

Ando大侠 and friends shook their head.

"Stop lying! I know you are! I am so beautiful pretty cute sexy gorgeous irresistible and charming!" The witch shouted.

Ando大侠 and friends puked onto the witch.

So the witch was drowned by the puke.

And thats how Ando大侠 and friends saved the world from the witch.

I wish

2010-02-27T22:05:00.004+08:00

How I wish I can change it.

I dont want to be in it anymore.

I want to get out of it.

Somehow the words hurt abit.

Even though I wasnt interested at all.

It was so obvious.

And maybe I never belong there in the first place.

快乐虎年!!

2010-02-14T21:54:00.000+08:00

快乐虎年!!

- quoted from pock

Relationship with work

2010-02-11T20:00:00.003+08:00

I realised work has a love-hate relationship with me.

Work loves me because it couldnt bear to let me leave till late.

Work hates me because it didnt make me feel good while doing it.

I wish work will have a hate-love relationship with me.

Mystery of MK²

2010-02-10T20:15:00.001+08:00

Ando大侠 has a new mission.

A mission to solve the mystery of MK².

Any useful information will be useful.

Any good contribution will be good.

Any help rendered will be helpful.

The mystery shall be solved sooner or later.

Balancing time

2010-01-01T19:45:00.002+08:00

It is the year of the twenty eggs.
Time flies.
Maybe because there was too much fun.
There is a need to slow time.
So fun must be replaced by emo.
However, pock said too much emo and time will move too slow.
SO there must be a balance.
A timetable will be designed to include fun times and emo times.
Fun, emo, fun, emo, fun, emo, fun, emo.....
A balance shall be struck.
And the feeling of time flies or time crawls will not longer exist.

Somehow I feel proud after writing the above.

The day the sea was conquered

2009-12-12T22:24:00.003+08:00

Ando大侠 conquered the sea today.

It was meant to be from the start.

You made my day

2009-12-09T21:07:00.000+08:00

Thanks Abigail. You really made my day somehow.

Conquer

2009-12-06T21:09:00.000+08:00

21km conquered.
No sweat.

Next, 42km.

Brown and sticky

2009-12-02T20:49:00.003+08:00

At the dining table,

Nat: What is brown and sticky?
Ando: Shit?
Nat: No!
Ando: Then?
Nat: A stick!
Ando: z z z z ......

My hair

2009-12-01T22:24:00.003+08:00

She came to wash my hair.
Scrubbing and massaging the shampoo into my hair.
It was comfortable.
Ten minutes went past.
Still scrubbing and massaging the shampoo into my hair.
It was still comfortable.
Then she washed off the shampoo with warm water.

And she came to wash my hair again.
Scrubbing and massaging the shampoo into my hair.
It felt comfortable somewhat.
Ten minutes went past.
Still scrubbing and massaging the shampoo into my hair.
It was not comfortable.
Then she washed off the shampoo with warm water.

AND she came to wash my hair again.
This time massaging the conditioner into my hair.
It felt abit painful.
Ten minutes went past.
Still scrubbing and massaging the conditioner into my hair.
It was painful.
Then she washed off the conditioner with warm water.

I believe I lost thousands of hair.
I believe on my scalp are hundreds of blue black.
But I forgive her.
Because I understand why she did that.

My hair is simply so soft and nice to wash.
She cant resist it.

Burger Story

2009-11-30T22:14:00.009+08:00

Juliet's father refused to let her eat cheeseburger because it is unhealthy. And so she said,

I was very hungry when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback starts
I'm standing there
On the sidewalk in sunny air

See the lights
See the posters, the fast food
I see you make your way through the crowd
And say hello, little did I know

That you were cheeseburger, you looking delicious
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don't go, and I said

Cheeseburger take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the food and I'll eat you all up
It's a burger story baby just say yes

So I sneak out to the restaurant to see you
I keep quiet 'cause I am dead if they knew
So just stay fresh
Escape this town for a little while

'Cause you were cheeseburger, I was a hungry human
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
But you were everything to me
I was begging you please don't go and I said

Cheeseburger take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the food and I'll eat you all up
It's a burger story baby just say yes

Cheeseburger save me, they try to tell me how to feel
This hunger is difficult, but it's real
Don't be afraid, I'll make it out of this mess
It's a burger story baby just say yes
Oh oh

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said

Cheeseburger save me I've been feeling so hungry
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think
You dropped to my hand and look delicious

And said, eat me up Juliet
You'll never have to be hungry
I know you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a nice sauce
It's a burger story baby just say yes

I was very hungry when I first saw you

* Someone still owe me a cheeseburger!!

Feeling Stupid

2009-11-29T22:42:00.000+08:00

On the stationary boat in the sea, about to move off....

Ando: Where is the anchor? Does this boat have an anchor?
Benjamin: Yup it has an anchor.
Ando: It's not on the boat.
Benjamin: Is the boat stationary or moving?
Ando: Oh! (feeling stupid)

Legend

2009-11-25T22:11:00.001+08:00

Legend says that the roundest knight at King Arthur's Round Table was Sir Conference.

He acquired his size from too much pi.

It was never my fault.

2009-11-21T21:05:00.004+08:00

It was raining!
The wind was blowing!
The current was strong!
There was not enough sleep!
There was not enough water time!
The positioning was unfair!
Luck was on the wrong side!
He was biased!
IT WAS NOT MY FAULT!
AND I SHALL RETURN TO CONQUER THE SEA ANOTHER DAY!

Cleanest in the house

2009-11-18T13:31:00.000+08:00

In the house,

Ando: Wah! Your house is so dirty!

Nat: Ok what. Quite clean.

Ando: NO! And the cleanest place in this house is your dustbin!

What are you doing today?

2009-11-09T22:48:00.005+08:00

Ando: What are you doing today?

Nat: Nothing

Ando: But that's what you did yesterday.

Nat: I wasn't finished.

Ando: -_-"

To singapore snails:

2009-10-26T22:39:00.004+08:00

Im going away tomorrow for three days.
Dun miss me.
Dun cry.
I will be back soon.
And yes, I will send your regards to Karimun snails.

Disappointment

2009-10-24T23:09:00.002+08:00

So disappointed with how things are.

I should had go away.

Stressed nose

2009-10-20T21:12:00.005+08:00

My nose is getting stressed up.
Cos I found a white nostril hair in my nose.
Nope. Its not a black nostril hair covered with white slimy mucus.
I must help my nose to destress.
I shall read it some jokes every night before I sleep.
I will massage my nose 3 times a day.
I will stop breathing for 1 second everyday to let it take a break.
I will let it smell the happy food, Chocolate before every meal.
Hopefully my nose will be destressed soon.
I dun wan my nose to be filled with white nostril hair.
And im not being lame here.
Im seriously serious about my nose.

free stuff for the day

2009-10-06T19:17:00.006+08:00

Today.....

Passing by a cafe,

Waitress: Hey do you drink coffee?
Ando: Yah!
Waitress: Great! Heres a cup of cuppucino for you!
Ando: Wow! Thanks!
And so I got myself a free cup of coffee.

Passing by a drink stall,

Stallholder: You are the 8th customer of the day.
Ando: Really?
Stallholder: Yup! So heres a free cup of tea for you!
Ando: Hey thanks!
And so I got myself a free cup of tea.

Shit. I should had passed by a bank today. :(

What shirt is it?

2009-10-02T22:31:00.004+08:00

Here goes:

Below is a white shirt with blue stripes.

Below is a blue shirt with white stripes.

So what is the shirt below?

Give up? Isnt it obvious? Its a white shirt with white stripes.

how to look cute?

2009-09-27T18:16:00.011+08:00

You will need:

1) your face
2) hand (it can be any hand as long as its a hand)
3) another hand (optional)

Steps:

With one hand, do the action below

and your face becomes cute!!

If you are using two hands，do the action below

And you will look cute too!

Try it today!! no no...try it now!!

*no human boy or human baby was hurt in the production of this blog entry.

What a day!

2009-09-19T20:59:00.002+08:00

Ando大侠 met Anotabledivainebololadaland and the first FERN in his life.

What a day!

Locksmith

2009-09-19T00:01:00.002+08:00

Bendalene: Who are you? And how did you get in?

Locksmith: erm....Im a locksmith. And Im a locksmith.

Bendalene: 0.0

Work

2009-09-18T20:38:00.001+08:00

I think work hates me.
I feel so unloved by work.
Oh work, please love me.

The return of the snail

2009-09-14T21:21:00.007+08:00

The snail which I saved returned today.

Snail: Im going to give you two wishes.
Ando: hey why not three? Every wish granter gives the wish getter three!!"
Snail: Im trying to be different. *smile*
Ando: -_-"
Snail: So whats your first wish?
Ando: I want more money.
Snail: Granted!

So where is my money?
Snail: Its in your palm.
Ando: Huh?

I opened my palm and I saw a brand new five cent coin.

Snail: Now you are five cents richer. *smile*
Ando: What the....? Are you scamming me?
Snail: Nope. You have MORE money now. So your next wish?
Ando: Nevermind. My next wish.....I want some love.
Snail: Granted

Ando: So where is my love?
Snail: In front of you.

In front of me was a roast chicken drumstick.

Ando: What is this?
Snail: Its your favourite food. That should make you feel loved.
Ando: -_-"

And the snail disappeared.

Come back snail. I wanna crush you.

lame day

2009-09-10T22:48:00.001+08:00

P sat in the middle of nowhere, within a circle, under the hot sun cos she got nothing to do and someone told her to do so.

M hates swallowing pills cos she is afraid the pills might go in the wrong direction down her throat.

CC threw a water bottle at her brother cos she thought he is a ghost.

R and A are gay brothers who licked each other's teeth with their tongue to clean them and feed each other with their own saliva.

Saving a snail

2009-08-24T21:39:00.005+08:00

I saved the life of a snail today.
It was almost crushed ...... by me
But I stopped myself in time.
So I saved it.
Ok, no need to praise me.
I know Im kind.
It must be grateful to me.
Tonight I shall wait for it to appear at my door.
To grant me 3 wishes.
Ahhhh!
I better start thinking about what wishes I should make.

The responses

2009-07-31T10:27:00.000+08:00

Responses to " Who do you think is cute?":

1.None other than me.

2.I am cute.

3.Cutie.

4.Oh my GOD!

5.LOL

6.Erm......

7.I think I am cute.

8.Someone.

9.Cant think of any cute girls.

10.U are the one.

11.There!

12.Ewwww la

Terrible Terrible Terrible

2009-07-11T13:10:00.001+08:00

Things aint looking good at all.

Terrible terrible terrible.....

Terrible Terrible

2009-07-10T22:47:00.001+08:00

Things took for the worse.

And it might never be the same anymore.

Terrible

2009-07-05T22:44:00.000+08:00

Something terrible happened.

And it might get worse.

The squirrel

2009-06-27T01:00:00.001+08:00

The squirrel was suntanning.

But it certainly was a weird place for suntanning. Is it some squirrel fetish?

And the position of the squirrel didnt seem comfortable. One will wonder how it felt.

Actually the sun wasnt even shining on that spot. What was the squirrel thinking?

Anyway, someone should tell the squirrel that it is already dark enough so there was no need for it to suntan.

The monster

2009-06-26T20:00:00.003+08:00

The place was a happy place.
Sunlight was shining bright.
Air from the aircon was coooool.
People were friendly.
The flowers smelt nice.
ok...there were no flowers.
Anyway it was a happy place.

Then one day (which is today), a good monster came along.
This good monster covered everything in darkness.
Because of what the good monster did, the place was no longer happy.
The place is now an unhappy place.

Maybe one day a bad monster will come along.
And make a difference to the place.

Bad

2009-06-25T19:51:00.004+08:00

A boy who misbehaves is called a bad boy.
A dog which misbehaves is called a bad dog.
A machine which does not work well is called a bad machine.
So a monster which is nice, kind, beautiful, likeable and behaves well should be called a bad monster.

How many people will call a person who behaves inappropriately as a bad monster?

The new cowboy hat

2009-06-22T22:59:00.003+08:00

Ando大侠 got a new cowboy hat.

Now he needs to find a cow.

"moo moo....where are you?"

Quest for S.M.I.L.E.

2009-06-07T19:00:00.003+08:00

A group of 60 warriors from the Lion City was sent to the City of Cats to find the legend of S.M.I.L.E.

An epidemic threatened to twart their plans but the brave warriors pushed forward.

All the warriors knew they must and would succeed in their mission.

It was indeed a tough journey, travelling across seas and lands with the help of the Big Bird.

Upon landing on the island of the Hornbills, the warriors climbed through forests, hills, rivers, broken bridges and waterfall.

Obstacles littered their way but the warriors overcame them.

Challenging high ropes obstructed their path but the warriors conquered them.

Giant bugs, millipedes, blood sucking leeches, bats, snakes, giant ants, bees, moths, butterflies, termites, grasshoppers, cicadas and giant monkeys were dangerous but the warriors brushed them aside.

As the warriors adventured on, treehouses were bunked, songs were sung, new friends were made, new skills were picked up and spirits was high.

Soon, the City of Cats loomed into view and the warriors shouted "Eureka!".

People from the city, peasants and warriors alike, poured forward to welcome them.

As they smiled at one another, the legend of S.M.I.L.E. was found.

=)

Goodbye and Hello

2009-06-02T15:00:00.001+08:00

Goodbye snails of Singapore!

Hello snails of Sarawak!

Good Bye Sami

2009-05-25T17:50:00.005+08:00

Good Bye Sami Hypia.

You are forever a legend.
Thank You for everything.
You will be missed.
Wish you all the best.

Fairness

2009-05-21T23:20:00.002+08:00

I know I am always fair to everyone.
And now I am becoming more fair.
I never try to be unfair.
Being busy doesnt help me to be less fair.
I hope I can maintain my fairness.
But I dun wish to remain so fair.
Fairness please stay.
Fairness please go away.

Grass

2009-04-28T21:44:00.003+08:00

Near a grass patch,

Grasscutter: &**#^$#&^$(*#@

Ando: Whats wrong?

Grasscutter: Haiz....how I wish all the grass are emo

Ando: Huh? Why?

Grasscutter: Then they will cut themselves.

Ando: -_-"

The word.

2009-04-25T23:22:00.006+08:00

I found a word.

A word that can express feelings such as pain, pleasure, love and hate.

In the language, the word falls into many grammatical categories.

It can be used as a verb( both transitive and intransitive).
- an action verb
- a passive verb
- an adverb
- a noun

It can also be used as an adjective or an interjection.

It can even be used as a conjunction.

Aside from its connotations, this word can be used to describe many situations.
- Greetings
- Fraud
- Resignation
- Trouble
- Aggression
- Disgust
- Confusion
- Difficulty
- Despair
- Pleasure
- Displeasure
- Lost
- Disbelief
- Retaliation
- Denial
- Perplexity
- Apathy
- Suspicion
- Panic
- Directions

It can be used in an anatomical description.
It can be used to tell time.
It can be used in business.
It can be maternal.
It can be political.

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history.

Its really an amazing word.

A wonderful day.

2009-04-16T22:00:00.001+08:00

Its a wonderful day.

Thank you all for everything.

花

2009-04-13T19:01:00.002+08:00

Ando：你喜欢什么花？
Ivy (羞答答)：我喜欢两种花.
Ando：哪两种？我送给你！
Ivy (低头小声)：有钱花，随便花！
Ando：你真美！
Ivy (妩媚)：我哪美？
Ando (深情)：想得美.
Ivy: O.O

The Re-Test

2009-04-10T16:01:00.008+08:00

After the first failed test, Ando 大侠 decided to have a re-test for the 3 candidates Snail, Frog and Mouse.

A rabbit was again released into the forest.

The Snail went into the forest and came out dressed as a rabbit.

Next, the Frog went into the forest and came out with a rock dressed as a rabbit.

Lastly, the Mouse went into the forest and dragged out a badly beaten bear dressed as a rabbit. The bear was screaming: "Okay, okay, I’m a rabbit, I’m a rabbit!"

And so Ando 大侠 declared the re-test void.

The dog

2009-04-09T18:00:00.000+08:00

At the beach,

Ivy: My dog can talk!

Ando: Prove it!

Ivy: (to the dog) What covers a house?

Dog: Roof!

Ivy: (to the dog) How does sandpaper feel?

Dog: Rough!

Ivy: (to the dog) Who is the greatest baseball player?

Dog: Ruth!

Ivy: See?!

Ando: -_-"

The colour of champion

2009-04-09T11:00:00.000+08:00

The colour remains unbeaten.

Yellow, the colour of champion.

The Test

2009-04-06T20:28:00.008+08:00

Ando 大侠 wanted to choose a disciple among 3 candidates Snail, Frog and Mouse. The first test was to get them to prove who is the best in finding a rabbit.

A rabbit was released into a forest.

The Snail placed animal spies throughout the forest. They question all plant and animal witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, the Snail concluded that rabbits do not exist.

Next, the Frog went in. After two weeks with no leads, the Frog burnt the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit and he made no apologies. The rabbit deserved it.

The Mouse went in. He came out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear was yelling: "Okay, okay, I’m a rabbit, I’m a rabbit!"

And so Ando 大侠 declared the first test void.

新宿

2009-04-05T12:12:00.003+08:00

铁头: (痛心) 你要喝水吗?

杰: (哭) 我要我的手! 我要我的手!

铁头: (哭) .....

观众: 哈哈哈哈......!!

Complain

2009-04-04T07:17:00.006+08:00

ROAR..........I want to complain!

Why is there so much cute around?

Why are there people who forgot to use their ears?

Why cant queues be cut?

Why is chicken skin so delicious ?

Why doesnt chocolate give a beautiful voice?

Why is time so kan chiong?

Why cant the printer deliver what it prints?

Why is the signboard directing people to a dead end?

Why were the buses crawling on the road?

Why cant their surnames be memorable?

Why cant the honest feelings be told?

Who invented dust?

Why did instincts not persuade trust?

Why play wasnt around every weekend?

Why fun MIA every night?

Why cant crabs jump?

Why so much food was delivered to the table?

Why Why Why???

Rock and Pebble

2009-03-20T16:07:00.000+08:00

The Rock is a snail killer. Cruel cruel .... All snails beware!!

The Pebble always wear the red shirt. Smelly smelly... All noses alert!!

Short forms

2009-03-19T16:20:00.000+08:00

At the bookshop,

Ando: If "can't" is short for "cannot," what is "don't" short for?

Ivy: hmm......doughnut?

Ando: -_-"

Dew

2009-03-18T16:30:00.001+08:00

At the park,

Ando: How is dew formed?

Ivy: Erh...the sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire?

Ando: -_-"

The Man whom Ando大侠respects.

2009-03-14T19:05:00.006+08:00

He is inspirational.
He is capable.
He is sincere.
He is friendly.
He is gentlemanly.
He is leaving soon.

But he earns the respect of Ando大侠

*Ando大侠salutes.*

YELLOW

2009-03-12T14:01:00.006+08:00

Yellow, the colour of champions.

Once again, it rules the world.

Yellow rocks !

a day's happening

2009-03-11T20:26:00.003+08:00

yadot detpure onaclov a

neppah ot desoppus ton si ti

deneppah ti tub

gnineppah neeb dah ti dna

kaerb a rof emit sti spahrep

The meal

2009-02-13T20:16:00.010+08:00

Golden baked rice.

Milky mushroom soup.

She is a potential good cook.

*luckily no need to take lao sai pills.

Combustible

2009-02-11T19:32:00.003+08:00

I breathed in Hydrogen.
I drank Toulene.
I ate Pyrophoric.
I touched Brisant.

I was combustible.

Thank you.

2009-01-28T18:41:00.002+08:00

Thank you Yuening and Debbie.

Spongebob!!

The life of Snail

2009-01-22T22:40:00.014+08:00

The Snail.

The Naked Snail.

The Snail running across the road.

The Snail trying to prove his agility.

The Snail playing hide and seek.

The Snail with tattoos.

The Snail pretending to be a crab.

The Snail bought a flower.

The Snail on a date.

The Snail sleeping after a long day.

THE END.

Masculine vs Feminine

2009-01-22T22:35:00.004+08:00

Four actions to test how masculine or feminine a person is:

1) If there is a lizard on the ceiling, how would the person look at it?
2) If the elbow is dirty, how would the person look at it?
3) If the fingernail is dirty, how would the person look at it?
4) If the heel of the shoe is dirty, how would the person look at it?

The Dream

2009-01-11T18:07:00.005+08:00

Last night, I had a dream.

I dreamt that I lived in a big mansion.

I dreamt that I had lotsa money which will never be used up.

I dreamt that I had a collection of all my dream cars.

I dreamt that I had a private jet and helicopter.

I dreamt that I had chefs to cook all my favourite food.

I dreamt that I had the fittest body I ever had in my whole life.

I dreamt that I had all the facilities of sports which I enjoy.

It was all a nightmare to me!

Why?

Cos I can see them but I cant touch them.

Damn!

Please...no more such nightmares again.

p.s. You may ask, how come I din dream that Im the nicest person in the world?

Thats because Im already the nicest person in the world in real life. =)

Year 2009

2009-01-01T13:31:00.000+08:00

Good morning year 2009. I hope you will be great. So glad to see you.

Good bye Year 2008

2008-12-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

The year 2008 was bad. Very bad. Really very bad. Definitely really very bad.

I will forget about everyone and everything in 2008 when the clock strikes twelve tonight.

Hope year 2009 will be better.

Too much

2008-12-30T17:58:00.000+08:00

Asked too much.

Cared too much.

Think too much.

Said too much.

Things are just not meant to be.

Today

2008-12-27T21:41:00.000+08:00

Shit.Housefly.Sadness.Rubbish.Slime.Devil.Cockroach.Quarrel.
Broken.Dirty.Uncaring....

I just want to say that today is a bad day.

You were right.

2008-12-27T00:31:00.000+08:00

You were right.

Christmas

2008-12-26T02:53:00.000+08:00

Santa Claus lost his way on Christmas Day.
Santa Claus cant find the sock on Christmas Day.
Santa Claus was cold on Christmas Day.
Santa Claus received love on Christmas Day.

HP number

2008-12-23T15:33:00.000+08:00

My HP number was quite popular today but for the wrong reasons.

Thank you

2008-12-23T04:35:00.000+08:00

Thank you my friend.

Dear blogger spam bot

2008-12-15T06:31:00.000+08:00

Dear blogger spam bot,

My blog is not a spam blog.

Please stop labelling it as one soon.

Thank you very much.

Best Regards

Ando

Friend

2008-12-13T15:59:00.000+08:00

Just chatting and chilling.

With a close friend.

Shingleback Love

2008-12-11T17:52:00.000+08:00

Long long time ago, a Shingleback girl was out dating with a Shingleback boy. As they were trying to cross a wire fence, the Shingleback girl got her tail trapped by the wire. She was in pain. The Shingleback boy could not do anything to get her out.

The Shingleback boy stayed with the Shingleback girl and kept her company. He wants to let her know that she was not alone. Soon, the Shingleback girl died.

The Shingleback boy grieved and stayed by her dead body for two days until a human came along and found the pair side by side.

Let us love like the Shinglebacks.

To love each other in life, in death and forever.

The run

2008-12-07T19:14:00.000+08:00

Cheering.

Applause.

Raising hands.

Great music.

Funny dj.

Guys and ladies.

Number tags.

Championchip.

Photographers.

Misleading signages.

Road blocks.

Blue singlet.

Portable toilets.

Ambulance.

Awake ushers.

Sleeping ushers.

Policemen.

Singing runners.

Chatting runners.

Walking runners (hmm...runners who walk???)

Sweat.

Heavy breaths.

100 plus.

Water.

Empty cups on the ground.

Medal.

Bananas.

Friends.

Achievement.

Supporter

2008-12-06T20:21:00.000+08:00

For those who are going to be supporters for marathon runners, do not say

Hang in there! Only 20 more kilometres to go...!

Good job! Just 3 more hours to the end..

Are you having fun? (when the runner is clearly struggling)

Faster leh! ( when the runner is clearly out of breath already)

You're almost there! (when it's too early in the race)

*Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon 2008 on 7 Dec 2008

Missing

2008-12-05T14:24:00.000+08:00

Who are you missing?

Noisy Mushroom

2008-12-04T01:05:00.000+08:00

I found a mushroom.
It loves to sing, especially lullabies.
Or it thought it was singing.
Cos whatever was heard were not songs.
But plain screaming.
I tried to tell mushroom.
It refused to believe me.
Stupid mushroom.

All its screaming is making me lose sleep.
All the while the mushroom thought its lullabies are helping me to sleep.
Somebody shut it up!

Waste of time

2008-11-29T13:15:00.000+08:00

M was pushy.

S was smug.

L was soft.

TF was just like every other.

The nite was a waste of time.

Compliment

2008-11-28T15:08:00.000+08:00

At the clothes boutique

Isabelle was standing in front of a mirror, checking out the clothes on her.

She was not happy with what she saw.

Isabelle: Wah lao! I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly lei! Can you give me a compliment to make me feel good not?

Ando: Yup! Your eyesight is near perfect la.

Isabelle: 0.0

Questions

2008-11-27T13:39:00.000+08:00

Shunxing posted these questions to me.

1) Why din the captain bring a television onto his new ship?

2) One day, Mr. Caterpillar hitch a ride to town with a family of bees in a little car.
After a few kilometers, the car rolled to a halt. Without saying a word, Papa Bee alighted and urinated into the fuel intake. When he turned the starter, the engine started up, much to Mr Caterpillar's amazement!
However, he did not say a word. The car went on for quite some distance before the engine died again. This time, it was Mother Bee who urinated into the fuel intake, and again, the car started up after that.
The process was then repeated again for Baby Bee.
By the time the engine died for the fourth time, the little car was only a few kilometers from town. Not wanting to appear unsophisticated, Mr Caterpillar got out of the car without a word, and started opening the fuel cap.
In a flash, Papa Bee got out of the car. "What are you doing?" asked Papa Bee.
"I'm going to piss in the fuel intake, just like you did", said Mr Caterpillar.

" No no! It wun work!!" said Papa Bee.

Why?

3) What do you call a prawn with no legs?

Lols...

Mission again

2008-11-23T17:08:00.000+08:00

Ando大侠 is on a mission to catch a mouse.

Someone very famous once said: "if you want to catch a mouse, you have to think like a mouse."

(Even though the person is very famous but Ando大侠forgot who is the famous person. However the person is definitely someone very famous.)

Ando大侠 eats cheese for every meal.

Ando大侠 curls up like a mouse when he is sleeping.

Ando大侠 makes squeaking sounds whenever he tries to speak.

Ando大侠 drinks water using the tongue.

Ando大侠 nibbles like a mouse whenever he samples food.

Ando大侠 goes out only at nite.

Ando大侠 tries to depend more on his sense of hearing, smell and touch when he moves around by wearing sunglasses.

Why does Ando大侠 want to catch a mouse? Its because he wants to sacrifice himself to prove the famous person wrong.

(Even though the person is very famous but Ando大侠forgot who is the famous person. However the person is definitely someone very famous.)

Then Ando大侠 can come up with his own saying and become someone famous whom people will remember as he will definitely be someone very famous.

*Some people confused rat with mouse.

This is a rat.

This is a mouse.

SORRY! Wrong pic..This is the real mouse.

And of cos, the mouse's best friend

Believing

2008-11-23T09:22:00.000+08:00

Audrey and Hiumun should start believing that I represent honesty and I do not tell lies.

Great fun night.

2008-11-22T19:57:00.000+08:00

The night was great and fun!!

Restaurant

2008-11-22T14:10:00.000+08:00

At a restaurant with Isabelle.

Waiter: What you want to order lei?

Ando: Steak, medium rare lor

Waiter: You not worried about the mad cow meh?

Ando: Nah, she can order for herself la.

Isabelle: O.O

1,2,3,4

2008-11-17T21:28:00.000+08:00

One thing

Two do

Three words

Four you

The cat and the bus

2008-11-17T18:05:00.000+08:00

The cat was sitting comfortably at the bus stop.

It was waiting for the bus.

The time was 1 a.m.

Doesnt it know that usually the bus service will be terminated before twelve at that bus stop?

I wonder what bus service number it is waiting for.

Anyway, I hope the cat will grow to be more bus-smart after the futile wait.

Gold diggers and Saboteurs

2008-11-16T18:55:00.000+08:00

The gold diggers digged hard to find the gold.

The saboteurs worked hard to sabotage.

Friends became enemies.

Enemies still enemies.

It was a cruel world.

Secret maps.Traps. Dead Ends. Broken tools. Explosives.

With cute RATS....

And chao ta fried eggs....

All the while, the baby was sleeping soundly...

The place of the past

2008-11-16T12:49:00.000+08:00

It would be the last time we will step into this place.

A place of fond memories.

A place of the past.

The place where we used to play

The corridor where we used to run up and down

The classroom where we used to have fun

The blackboard where we used to doodle

The canteen where we used to stuff ourselves.

The toilet where we used to settle our problems

I will never forget..