It was never my fault.

It was raining!
The wind was blowing!
The current was strong!
There was not enough sleep!
There was not enough water time!
The positioning was unfair!
Luck was on the wrong side!
He was biased!
IT WAS NOT MY FAULT!
AND I SHALL RETURN TO CONQUER THE SEA ANOTHER DAY!

Cleanest in the house

In the house,

Ando: Wah! Your house is so dirty!

Nat: Ok what. Quite clean.

Ando: NO! And the cleanest place in this house is your dustbin!

What are you doing today?

Ando: What are you doing today?

Nat: Nothing

Ando: But that's what you did yesterday.

Nat: I wasn't finished.

Ando: -_-"

To singapore snails:

Im going away tomorrow for three days.
Dun miss me.
Dun cry.
I will be back soon.
And yes, I will send your regards to Karimun snails.

Disappointment

So disappointed with how things are.

I should had go away.

Stressed nose

My nose is getting stressed up.
Cos I found a white nostril hair in my nose.
Nope. Its not a black nostril hair covered with white slimy mucus.
I must help my nose to destress.
I shall read it some jokes every night before I sleep.
I will massage my nose 3 times a day.
I will stop breathing for 1 second everyday to let it take a break.
I will let it smell the happy food, Chocolate before every meal.
Hopefully my nose will be destressed soon.
I dun wan my nose to be filled with white nostril hair.
And im not being lame here.
Im seriously serious about my nose.

free stuff for the day

Today.....

Passing by a cafe,

Waitress: Hey do you drink coffee?
Ando: Yah!
Waitress: Great! Heres a cup of cuppucino for you!
Ando: Wow! Thanks!
And so I got myself a free cup of coffee.

Passing by a drink stall,

Stallholder: You are the 8th customer of the day.
Ando: Really?
Stallholder: Yup! So heres a free cup of tea for you!
Ando: Hey thanks!
And so I got myself a free cup of tea.

Shit. I should had passed by a bank today. :(

What shirt is it?

Here goes:

Below is a white shirt with blue stripes.













Below is a blue shirt with white stripes.














So what is the shirt below?




























Give up? Isnt it obvious? Its a white shirt with white stripes.

how to look cute?

You will need:

1) your face
2) hand (it can be any hand as long as its a hand)
3) another hand (optional)

Steps:

With one hand, do the action below

and your face becomes cute!!

If you are using two hands，do the action below











And you will look cute too!

Try it today!! no no...try it now!!

*no human boy or human baby was hurt in the production of this blog entry.

What a day!

Ando大侠 met Anotabledivainebololadaland and the first FERN in his life.

What a day!

Locksmith

Bendalene: Who are you? And how did you get in?

Locksmith: erm....Im a locksmith. And Im a locksmith.

Bendalene: 0.0

Work

I think work hates me.
I feel so unloved by work.
Oh work, please love me.

The return of the snail

The snail which I saved returned today.

Snail: Im going to give you two wishes.
Ando: hey why not three? Every wish granter gives the wish getter three!!"
Snail: Im trying to be different. *smile*
Ando: -_-"
Snail: So whats your first wish?
Ando: I want more money.
Snail: Granted!

So where is my money?
Snail: Its in your palm.
Ando: Huh?

I opened my palm and I saw a brand new five cent coin.

Snail: Now you are five cents richer. *smile*
Ando: What the....? Are you scamming me?
Snail: Nope. You have MORE money now. So your next wish?
Ando: Nevermind. My next wish.....I want some love.
Snail: Granted

Ando: So where is my love?
Snail: In front of you.

In front of me was a roast chicken drumstick.

Ando: What is this?
Snail: Its your favourite food. That should make you feel loved.
Ando: -_-"


And the snail disappeared.

Come back snail. I wanna crush you.

lame day

P sat in the middle of nowhere, within a circle, under the hot sun cos she got nothing to do and someone told her to do so.

M hates swallowing pills cos she is afraid the pills might go in the wrong direction down her throat.

CC threw a water bottle at her brother cos she thought he is a ghost.

R and A are gay brothers who licked each other's teeth with their tongue to clean them and feed each other with their own saliva.

Saving a snail

I saved the life of a snail today.
It was almost crushed ...... by me
But I stopped myself in time.
So I saved it.
Ok, no need to praise me.
I know Im kind.
It must be grateful to me.
Tonight I shall wait for it to appear at my door.
To grant me 3 wishes.
Ahhhh!
I better start thinking about what wishes I should make.

The responses

Responses to " Who do you think is cute?":

1.None other than me.



2.I am cute.



3.Cutie.



4.Oh my GOD!



5.LOL



6.Erm......



7.I think I am cute.



8.Someone.



9.Cant think of any cute girls.



10.U are the one.



11.There!



12.Ewwww la

Terrible Terrible Terrible

Things aint looking good at all.

Terrible terrible terrible.....

Terrible Terrible

Things took for the worse.

And it might never be the same anymore.

Terrible

Something terrible happened.

And it might get worse.

The squirrel

The squirrel was suntanning.









But it certainly was a weird place for suntanning. Is it some squirrel fetish?

And the position of the squirrel didnt seem comfortable. One will wonder how it felt.

Actually the sun wasnt even shining on that spot. What was the squirrel thinking?

Anyway, someone should tell the squirrel that it is already dark enough so there was no need for it to suntan.