Waste of time

M was pushy.

S was smug.

L was soft.

TF was just like every other.

The nite was a waste of time.

Compliment

At the clothes boutique

Isabelle was standing in front of a mirror, checking out the clothes on her.

She was not happy with what she saw.

Isabelle: Wah lao! I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly lei! Can you give me a compliment to make me feel good not?

Ando: Yup! Your eyesight is near perfect la.

Isabelle: 0.0

Questions

Shunxing posted these questions to me.

1) Why din the captain bring a television onto his new ship?

2) One day, Mr. Caterpillar hitch a ride to town with a family of bees in a little car. 
After a few kilometers, the car rolled to a halt. Without saying a word, Papa Bee alighted and urinated into the fuel intake. When he turned the starter, the engine started up, much to Mr Caterpillar's amazement!
However, he did not say a word. The car went on for quite some distance before the engine died again. This time, it was Mother Bee who urinated into the fuel intake, and again, the car started up after that.
The process was then repeated again for Baby Bee.
By the time the engine died for the fourth time, the little car was only a few kilometers from town. Not wanting to appear unsophisticated, Mr Caterpillar got out of the car without a word, and started opening the fuel cap.
In a flash, Papa Bee got out of the car. "What are you doing?" asked Papa Bee.
"I'm going to piss in the fuel intake, just like you did", said Mr Caterpillar.

" No no! It wun work!!" said Papa Bee.

Why?

3) What do you call a prawn with no legs?

Lols...

Mission again

Ando大侠 is on a mission to catch a mouse.

Someone very famous once said: "if you want to catch a mouse, you have to think like a mouse."

(Even though the person is very famous but Ando大侠forgot who is the famous person. However the person is definitely someone very famous.)

Ando大侠 eats cheese for every meal.

Ando大侠 curls up like a mouse when he is sleeping.

Ando大侠 makes squeaking sounds whenever he tries to speak.

Ando大侠 drinks water using the tongue.

Ando大侠 nibbles like a mouse whenever he samples food.

Ando大侠 goes out only at nite.

Ando大侠 tries to depend more on his sense of hearing, smell and touch when he moves around by wearing sunglasses.

Why does Ando大侠 want to catch a mouse? Its because he wants to sacrifice himself to prove the famous person wrong. 

(Even though the person is very famous but Ando大侠forgot who is the famous person. However the person is definitely someone very famous.)

Then Ando大侠 can come up with his own saying and become someone famous whom people will remember as he will definitely be someone very famous.

*Some people confused rat with mouse.

This is a rat.

This is a mouse.

SORRY! Wrong pic..This is the real mouse.

And of cos, the mouse's best friend

Believing

Audrey and Hiumun should start believing that I represent honesty and I do not tell lies. 

Great fun night.

The night was great and fun!! 

Restaurant

At a restaurant with Isabelle. 

Waiter: What you want to order lei?

Ando: Steak, medium rare lor

Waiter:  You not worried about the mad cow meh?

Ando: Nah, she can order for herself la.

Isabelle: O.O

1,2,3,4

One thing 

Two do 

Three words 

Four you

The cat and the bus

The cat was sitting comfortably at the bus stop.

It was waiting for the bus.

The time was 1 a.m.

Doesnt it know that usually the bus service will be terminated before twelve at that bus stop?

I wonder what bus service number it is waiting for.

Anyway, I hope the cat will grow to be more bus-smart after the futile wait.

Gold diggers and Saboteurs

The gold diggers digged hard to find the gold.

The saboteurs worked hard to sabotage.

Friends became enemies.

Enemies still enemies.

It was a cruel world.

Secret maps.Traps. Dead Ends. Broken tools. Explosives. 

With cute RATS....

And chao ta fried eggs....

All the while, the baby was sleeping soundly...

The place of the past

It would be the last time we will step into this place. 

A place of fond memories.  

A place of the past.

The place where we used to play

The corridor where we used to run up and down

The classroom where we used to have fun

The blackboard where we used to doodle

The canteen where we used to stuff ourselves.

The toilet where we used to settle our problems

I will never forget..

Thank you

Thank you for the night.

New world

The world became clear this day. So clear.

*slaps forehead*

Greatest challenge of the day.

100 kg. 

1000th set.

Tons of sweat.

Muscles strained.

Gritted teeth.

The mind weakening: Can it be done?

That moment required focus and determination.

THEN, "excuse me, can we share?" a guy asked.

In the mind" hello? Cant u see im very busy?"

Looking at the cold eyes, the guy suddenly realised his mistake.

"Sorry sorry"

Being the nice guy, the head was nodding to acknowledge.

ok, mouthed the lips.

"bang" 

Finished!!

"there u go" the guy was told.

*hope the guy will be more observant next time.